Feel the fear and do it anyway, just like Joshua (or perhaps a little bit like Joshua)

Hello,

At risk of over blogging I thought I would share some more thoughts. We are now on the battle of Jericho. Now I know Joshua is heralded as a model leader in Christian circles, but in all honesty, he is a bit too "yeah, let's go and kill loads of people" for my liking....  but once again I decided to crop, cut and paste the grizzly bits onto my mental clip-board for further study at some point, and focus on the spiritual parallels which is what we are doing living in the tension between the "now" and the "not yet".  

Now for all my reservations about Joshua, you've got to admit, he's got balls hasn't he?  He wasn't afraid of making a tit out of himself, as he had heard God's command and went out in full trust.  Or maybe he had read my self help book and decided to "feel the fear and do it anyway".  Who knows.  The destruction of Jericho took 7 days, 6 of which he had to march around the city with his men avec Ark of the Covenant and loud trumpets. Then they went home.  They did this for 6 days and then they went round the city 7 more times before they shouted and the whole thing was destroyed. What must they all have felt during those 6 days? Uncertainty? Fear? Discouragement?

I had some real encouragement this week. A couple of years ago, when i had just started doing HOTS, my boss had some back problems.  I offered to pray for her and she accepted.  I was really scared at doing this, as, although lovely, she was my boss! So at the end of the day when we were alone in the office I condensed the HOTS prayer into 2 lines:  I prayed "Lord, thank you that you love (insert boss's name) and I command healing in her back, in Jesus' name Amen". The back pain went, I watched as she wriggled in her chair, stood up and touched her toes,  all pain free. She was amazed.  I was amazed! 

The next day I asked how her back was.  She told me the stiffness had returned.  Maybe, she said, it had started healing by itself.  Gutted I was. Although in hindsight realised I should have prayed a second time.  But by the time hindsight had come, the moment had gone. She has had on and off problems with her back since, and every time I have sat and cringed, not knowing what to do.

This week her back pain returned.  So I took a tiny leap of faith and said to her that I would say a prayer for her back, if she wanted me to. This was no mean feat as I realised that I still carried the fear and reluctance to pray for her, because of the bad experience.  She smiled and said that she would really appreciate that. I took heart.  In the car (I was too afraid to do it there and then!) I prayed. I went in the next morning and asked how her back was.  She said, so much better thanks Hils.  I told her I had prayed for her.  She said  "Well, that was it then. I haven't had to take pain killers this morning and you praying has been the only thing different".  Yay!  The next day she said to me "back's still good hils", and the next day after that.  I have asked her to let me know anytime she needs "top up prayer" (not sure about the theology in that but never mind!)

The thing I have learned from this? Spiritual warfare is messy.  Stepping out in faith is messy.  But we need to keep doing it.  Feel the fear and do it anyway. Be prepared to make a tit out of oneself (in a culturally sensitive way!). Persevere, just like Joshua and his men did.  Well perhaps not quite like them, lets cut out the trumpets and marching and slaughtering, and step out in love and compassion, trust, and the authority that we have been given.

Bye for now!

Hils